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Hey….

Wow, yes I know I know…..it’s been a very long minute. I’ve been thinking about getting back on this thing for the past few days and here it is 3:17 on a Saturday morning and here I am. Insomnia is in full effect but hopefully I can fall asleep soon but in the meantime I’ll write a little something. So what’s been going on? Everything…So I decided to try my hand at running my own little small business that caters to children’s clothing. It stresses me out but keeps me busy at the same time. Although I still have to struggle with my depression which sucks. Some days I just don’t want to do anything and it sucks because my children don’t understand, they just want to go to the park and play. The hardest thing with fighting with your demons is trying to keep it all together for your family and friends because honestly they don’t understand or maybe they think you’re being dramatic. As I’m writing this right now I have tears in my eyes because do you know how hard it is to keep a straight face when you want to just break down and cry and you can’t explain to the people around you why?! If you have never struggled with depression or anxiety you simply don’t understand it. There’s a commercial that comes on TV and it’s for a medication for people that struggle with depression and the people walk around with a smiley face mask and while they’re talking they have this mask up. That’s what life is like with depression, anxiety and insomnia. The day of the El Paso shooting I was suppose to meet with my mom to go to an outdoor concert and I was driving to her house I looked at my kids and I just had this heaviness in my chest and a knot in my throat and I knew I was having an anxiety attack. So I proceeded to call my mom and tell her I didn’t feel comfortable with going to any outdoor events that day and she blew me off and said “Oh, whatever”. I had to turn up my radio wipe my tears away because I didn’t want my kids to see me cry. Unfortunately my family and the people around me don’t understand my mental health struggles. Depression, anxiety these things are not an excuse….these are real life struggles. To hear people say “Oh, well you can get up and go and do things.” Don’t understand the emotional toll it takes on you and it’s also physically draining. At this point it feels good to get this off my chest, I’ve been holding this in and just not wanting to blog but I’m glad I did. Sorry guys if this post is all over the place….I’m tired now and I’m going to try to get some sleep. https://tinyfries.com This is my little boutique, check it out if you have a minute. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated. Write you next time folks!

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